Today, we are celebrating our 15th year anniversary. It has been an amazing and great ride. As anybody who has been in a long-term relationship would know, it is not all smooth sailing. There have been some tough times, but there also have been many amazing times and I can’t imagine my life any other way. And I can’t imagine my life without Nick.

On this occasion, it is fitting to reflect on our relationship, what it means, and what we mean to each other. Just how are we doing? Maybe I could use a pretty widely-accepted measure of what a good, committed relationship is – some traditional marriage vows – and see how we measure up. Let’s get started.

• Has Nick been:
  • my constant friend? - check
  • my faithful partner in life? - check
  • and my one true love? - check
• And have I stayed by Nick’s side:
  • in sickness and in health? - check
  • in joy and in sorrow? – check
  • as well as through the good times and the bad? - check
• Have I:
  • loved Nick without reservation? - check
  • comforted him in times of distress? - check
  • encouraged him to achieve all of his goals? - check
  • laughed with him and cried with him? - check
  • grown with him in mind and spirit? - check
  • always been open and honest with him? - check
• Have we cherished each other for as long as we both have lived? – check

Using this as a gauge for suitability for marriage, it looks like we pass with flying colours. And what’s more, it is not as though we *will* promise to do this. This is what we have been doing for the last 15 years.

Yet, in Australia in 2011 we still cannot get married. The only part of the vow I left out was ‘to be my lawfully wedded husband’. How ridiculous is that? We fit every other of society’s criteria for marriage, except one small biological fact that makes it ‘unlawful’. A secular constraint that is easily corrected.

Our politicians, who are elected to represent us, are disrespecting us, ignoring us, and ignoring consistent polling that says that the majority of Australians support marriage equality. History will judge Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott harshly. It will show that they missed an opportunity to be leaders, to be progressive, and make an important difference in the lives of many, many people. But Gillard and Abbott will let that chance pass them by. They will let another generation of true leaders make the change and by the time we celebrate our 20th anniversary we will be able to be married. And they will be forgotten as the mediocre and weak leaders that they are.